Goodbyes

Today I dedicate this post to a woman that I couldn't live without.  She has the biggest heart of anyone I know, she is kind and compassionate, always willing to serve, and never thinks of herself.  She will be the first to arrive when struggle or trial arises and will only leave when she's certain that everyone is taken care of.  She is optimistic, drop dead gorgeous, and has a laugh that can make any day brighter.  This woman is my sister in law, Tammy, and I can't imagine my life without her.  She has been our saving grace in this unexpected diagnosis.  I haven't had to worry about the nutrition shop for a single minute.  She has stepped in and taken over the operations of our business and done it so efficiently that I think I may be out of job when we go home! 

Today she had to put her dog down. Guinness is a rotweiller who had a wonderful life with Tammy.  She adopted him several years ago and showed him the same love that she shows to us every day.  He broke his leg when he was a puppy and had a permanent limp that made it a bit harder for him to get around.  She showed him a good life in spite of his disability and saying goodbye was a very hard thing for her to do.  My favorite thing about Guinness was his attention to detail.  He was a large, scary looking dog and the first rottweiler I had ever got close enough to pet.  I remember the first time I met guinness.  I happened to also be the first time I met Tammy.  I had been dating Will for almost a year when I made the trip out to California to visit him.  I was living in Utah at the time and he was living with his sister in Willows.  The long drive gave me ample time to speculate what his sister was going to be like and wonder about whether we would get along.  I had myself so worked up by the time that I got there that I couldn't even speak a clear sentence.
When I got to the house Guinness was standing guard at the front door, as he always did.  He was a full time security guard and he took his job seriously.  Will came outside to meet me and invited me in the house.  I looked wearily at the giant black dog behind the screendoor that was staring me down.  Will picked up on my hesitancy and assured me that he wasn't going to hurt me.  He was right, Guinness sniffed his obligatory hello then retired to the living room floor.  Tammy was on her way out so she only said a quick hello then disappeared.  I was unprepared to meet such a beautiful woman.  I remember how stunned I felt when I saw her long dark curls, perfect skin, and dazzling smile.  I felt inadaquate.  I tried to picture my place in his family with this petite, beautiful woman as my sister in law and the thought of my lumberjack size and limp lifeless hair next to her grace, was almost insulting.  I felt inferior, but I did that to myself.
It didn't take long to realize that Tammy was much more than a pretty face, and although my lumberjack height and lifeless hair situation hasn't changed, my friendship with Tammy has become one of my most treasured posessions. 
I remember laughing as I watched Guinness lick his paws that first night I met him.  He had finished a long shift of standing gaurd at the door and laid down in the middle of the floor to clean his paws.  He was meticulous about it, carefully getting in between every toe.  When he was done he crossed his paws in a dignified way and looked at me with such intensity that I felt I was in the presence of a college professor.  I knew he was smarter than me and it made me uncomfortable. 


Kona, Guinness and Scout.  AKA: The Possee

As the years have passed I have come to understand Guinness and love him for his quirks.  Our dog Kona is anything but dignified and he has been patient enough to deal with her antics for the past 3 years.  I hoped she would learn some manners from this dignified man dog, but she could care less.  Tammy's other dog, Scout, is a white lab whose only goal in life it to be liked.  She will do, or not do, anything in order to get praise.  The combination of these three dogs was hilarious.  We had Guinness, the general; Scout, the teachers pet; and Kona the class clown.  Guinness was the leader of this posee and tried his best to keep the other girls in line.  And that's how he will always stay in my mind.  Willie wants to add that he will never forget how Guiness liked his hugs.  I would give anything to have one of these exchanges on film.  Willie would get on the floor and wrap his broad arms around that horse of a dog and they both looked so content and fulfilled.
We will miss you Guinnie Hog!

Guinnie's Head Stone

For us, today was pretty quiet.  Will received two pints of blood this morning and started his first Chemo dose this afternoon.  We are learning on this journey that the fear of something almost always outweighs the reality.  This was the case with his first chemo treatment.  I don't know what we were expecting, but the infusion went so smoothly that it felt wrong.  We have been told time and time again that this is the way things go with chemo and that the effects won't be felt for a few days, but it's hard to heed this advice when the woman administering the chemo today had to put on a gown, mask, goggles and two pairs of gloves!  It's crazy to think that she is protecting herself to that extend then pushing the toxic fluid into Will's veins!  My Mom spent a few hours with us this afternoon and we plan to take a walk in the gardens later when Will's chemo is done.  One day down of chemo!  3 more to go!