We Have a Match...(maybe!)

We went back to Stanford on Friday.  It was our usual check in with the doctor after another round of chemo.  The meeting is always the same; they ask how the chemo went, we report on the events of the previous three weeks, they look at his blood counts then tell us he needs to start the next round of chemo the following Monday. 
We always protest and tell them that we need more then three days notice in order to get our businesses taken care of and arrange housing for the week we have to stay there.  I am always amazed how this seems to be a novel idea to the docs.  As if taking care of living arrangements is a trivial thing.  At this point our visits always start to feel like we are negotiating to buy a car.  The doctor will tell us that the protocol advises that the chemo cycles occur every 4 weeks and pushing it back a week is not advised.  We will plead our case and explain that we need to take care of our home affairs before we can up and leave for a week.  There will be moments of silence and stern looks then the fellow doctor will leave to consult with the attending physician to see if they cam work out a deal. 
We'll sit in the cold examination room alone for a few moments as we consider what we can do to make it possible to return for chemo in three days.  We'll toss around some ideas on how we could possibly make it work and will just be warming up to the idea of starting another round of chemo when the attending doctor will return and accept our offer to wait a week.
This visit was no different.  We met with Brian first who is the fellow doctor that we really like.  He looked tired this time and his hair was combed in a way that made his thinning bald spot obvious.  I have no problem with bald spots and have grown rather fond of bald heads along this journey, but apparently a bald spot on a cancer doctor is something to be hidden.  Half of his hair was combed to the right and the front section was combed back.  It was most creative and gave his hair the look of a lattice fence. 
"You look good!" he said to Willie as he shook both of our hands.
He asked questions about the last round of chemo and Willie caught him up on the fevers.  We were lucky that we never had to go to the hospital this round and Brian was quick to point that out. 
"Your counts are good so we'll most likely want to start your next round on Monday." He said, as he stood to leave the room.
"We were hoping to have a week off to get things arranged for housing." Willie said, as the negotiating began.
"We really like to keep the rounds closer to 4 week intervals" Brain said, as per his usual dialogue "But I'll see what doctor Medeiros thinks."
He left the room and we sat in silence for a few moments.
"Isn't it silly how we go through this EVERY time!" I said to Willie.
Before he could reply the door opened and Dr. Medeiros entered in his usual dramatic way.  He was looking as suave as ever wearing a perfectly pressed gray shirt and carefully creased brown pants.
"They should make a movie of this guy!" he said, pointing to Willie.
We laughed and shook hands, not quite sure where he was going with that. 
"We were just watching a video on youtube of a guy who took a picture of himself everyday for 5 years and made a movie out of it.  We were talking about how boring the movie would be for guys like me or Brian who have no facial hair and never change our look, but you always look different!" He motioned to Willie's new lamb chop side burns as he said this.
Willie ran his hand along his cheeks and laughed.  He later said he was laughing more at the thought that the best doctors at Stanford spend their time watching videos of guys aging on youtube.  Indeed, that is an interesting way to spend a break between patients.
"We want to start your chemo on Monday, but Brian says you need to get a hotel arranged so we are going to give you a week off an start you again on the 24th."
We smiled in sweet victory.  We had won again.
"Have you heard anything from the Transplant center?" he asked, looking at Willie, then me.
We both shook our heads as I admitted that I haven't had time to call them.
"Well they found 41 possible matches for you and have narrowed it down to 3.  They pulled more lab work on you last time you were here which means they are doing final testing on the 3.  If everything goes well, one of those three should be a perfect match and this will be your last round of chemo then we'll go straight to transplant in 6 weeks."
The room was silent.  We were in shock.  This was the moment we had been waiting for since the first day he had been diagnosed, but I never imagined it would happen like this. 
In my vision we would be informed in a manner that paralleled that of a Publisher's Clearing House winner.  Someone from the bone marrow bank would arrive at our door with balloons and a large sign announcing they had found a perfect match for Willie.  We would hug each other tightly as we jumped up and down in excitement.  Confetti would fall from an unknown place and we would share a new year's eve-like kiss. 
It was so magical in my mind.
There was no magic in that examination room.
Willie heaved a sigh of relief next to me and I realized I was holding my breath.  The anxiety that was rising inside of me was almost tangible.  I could feel it bubbling up from deep within, throwing out question after question and shouting out things that need to be done in 6 short weeks.  I felt entirely unprepared.
"Wow!" I finally said.
I can't recall anything else that happened after that.  I just asked Willie and he said he doesn't know either.  All I know is that announcement opened up a well of anxiety inside of me that I didn't know was there and I have yet to begin silencing it.  I was surprised at how my and Willie's reactions were polar opposites.  He was so relieved by the news and I have yet to stop biting my nails.
In many ways I feel like we are starting all over again.  We are leaving our comfort zone of chemo treatments and entering a world of BIGGER chemo, radiation treatment and the possibility of death from graft versus host disease.
If that's not enough to stress over, we also have to figure out where we are going to stay and how in the world we are going to manage our lives here at home while we stay at Stanford for 3 MONTHS!  We don't even know were we are going to stay!  I know most of this stress is elicited by the fact that we got this news on a Friday and I have not been able to make any phone calls to pursue answers to the questions.  I'm sure things will be much better after we start putting things in place.
Despite all the anxiety, we are excited.  After all, a bone marrow transplant is the only known cure for Leukemia.  After that transplant we can go back to a normal life and never think about chemo again.  That is very exciting!
For me the excitement is buried behind tears and wild eyes, but this is what we have been praying for and we are most grateful.  This entire journey has been a test of patience and waiting on the Lord.  My entire life for that matter has been a lesson in waiting in faith.  That's probably why this announcement of a probable match in such a short span of time is something I'm not equipped to handle.  For the first time ever I feel like I'm the one asking the Lord to wait!
Who am I to choose the timing?!
We are so grateful for all the prayers, thoughts, donations and words of kindness we have received.  This is what strengthens us and makes our load seem light.  I can't say there has even been a moment in this whirlwind journey that I have felt this load was too much to carry.  Even now in my utter anxiety state, I do not feel that it is too much to handle.  We have been so blessed.
So very very blessed.
We are most grateful to the stranger who will donate their bone marrow for Willie to live.  It is the ultimate gift one can give.  If you haven't signed up for the bone marrow registry yet you can go to www.bethematch.org.  It takes about 6 weeks after doing the cheek swab to be entered into the bank.  I just got an email today saying that I am an official member of the bank.  The email said that 1 out of ever 546 members on the 11 million member strong  bank will get called on to donate marrow.  Some people will never be called to donate.  I hope with everything in me to be a match for someone so I can pay forward what someone else is doing for us. 

Please keep praying with us that one of the 3 will be a perfect match!  We'll keep you posted!