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| Mom and Dog, Reunited |
Today is June 14, 2012 and just one month ago we began this crazy journey on the path that Leukemia created. As I write this I'm sitting on the same couch in my living room where the adventure began. It was on this couch just one month ago that Willie and I sat together and cried as we tried to gather the courage to go to the hospital; It was on this couch that we prayed we would have the strength and faith to endure whatever trials lay ahead; and it is on this couch today that we sit together, marvelling at how that faith has carried us through.
The familiarity is refreshing. It's like nothing has changed.
But everything has changed.
I had a friend once who dated a guy for a year. She was so invested in him that she left all of her friends behind. They were talking about marriage and were in happy dating bliss when he suddenly broke up with her. We were all shocked and she was devastated. She returned to the group after that and had a hard time fitting back in because she had missed so much. We referred to it as the year that she had missed.
Leukemia hasn't taken a whole year from us, but May 2012 was definitely the month that we missed.
Yesterday was perhaps the best day of our lives. We woke up, as usual, at 5 AM when the nurse came in to draw blood. Will has created two categories for nurses: the ninjas and the Sasquatches. The ninja nurse sneaks in during the night and does her work with skill and silence. The Sasquatch nurse stomps into the room, turns on the light with no regard for the time, speaks loudly at every hour of the night, and makes it impossible to sleep. The nurse yesterday was on the Sasquatch side because we were both awake.
We eventualy fell back asleep and slept till 9AM without being interrupted again. It felt so wrong to be able to sleep this late without the resident dr. coming in to do her morning examination, but we were grateful for the rest. The doctors were slow in arriving again. We were getting antsy around 10:30 when they still hadn't arrived. I had plans to take a shower and run some errands as soon as the doctors came around so I was anxious for them to come. At 11 AM I was out of patience and was about to go in search of the team when they entered the room.
It was only the two resident women doctors and Carl, our favorite bone marrow biopsy performer. Will was laying on my bed in the corner of the room and I was sitting at the end of the bed, rubbing his feet. The team came over to us and it felt a bit tight with the 5 of us in the narrow space where the cot sat.
"Your counts tripled overnight!" Noura, our main resident doctor said.
"So.....We're sending you home today!"
We must have looked like she had just slapped us in the face. I couldn't believe what I had just heard! I looked over at Will and he too looked like she was speaking to us in a language we don't understand.
"Today?!" I said, incredulously.
"Yeah," she said, smiling from ear to ear "You should be out of here in a few hours!"
"But....." I didn't even know what I was going to say, it all seemed so sudden. It felt like minutes passed before I could finally I pulled my thoughts together enough to start asking questions.
"How can you be sure that his counts won't fall again tomorrow?" I asked "It just seems crazy to me that yesterday he was fragile and susceptible to infection and today he's fine to leave?"
She nodded her head and continued to smile as she explained that we would be leaving with followup care planned. We will be meeting with Dr. Lombardi, the physician who diagnosed us in Chico, next week to begin followup care. We talked for a while about what the next steps will be. As for this moment in time, Will's bone marrow is clear and showing no signs of cancer cells. We will go back to Stanford next week for another biopsy to confirm that the cells are still gone. If those cells are gone, he will be termed in "remission."
Remission for leukemia, however, isn't too much to celebrate. Research shows that if there is no follow up chemotherapy after the initial treatment in leukemia that the cancer cells always come back. Because of this, Willie will have to do another round of chemotherapy at a much lower dose for about a month. This is called consolidation therapy and he will most likely receive treatments three days a week for 4 weeks. We are hoping he can do these treatments from Chico, but our team at Stanford didn't seem to think this would be an option. We're holding out hope that our visit to Dr. Lombardi next week will tell us otherwise.
We asked Noura what felt like a million other questions and she was ever so patient to talk us through everything. After about an hour of questions and arrangements she finally just gave us her number and said to call any time.
"We'll call you every day!" I said, half joking, but mostly serious.
She laughed "I'll look forward to it!" she said, then shook our hands and wished us good luck.
I saw our social worker in the hall and she congratulated us on our release. It seemed the staff was equally as happy to kick us out of there as we were to go! I talked with her for a moment about our incredible, but brief journey there. She commented on how amazingly fast Will had recovered. She has worked there for over a decade and said the shortest she's ever seen anyone get out of there was 29 days.
We were leaving after a short 26 days.
There willie goes again, breaking state records! He is now the proud holder of the shortest stay at Stanford record.
Will had to receive one final IV drip of potassium then he was cut free from his hospital bands and IVs and we were free to leave the hospital. We gathered our dirty clothes and the ridiculous amount of things we have acquired over the past month and loaded up the car. Will walked out of the hospital carrying a TV and a picture and I carried a few bags of hospital supplies.
It seemed ridiculous to me that a man who had recently received some of the most powerful chemo available was now WALKING out of the hospital carrying a TV! He's simply incredible!
We got in the car and breathed a sigh of relief. We were going home!
The ride home felt like it took days. The traffic was slow in the bay area and we crawled through at a snails pace. That was short lived and once we got past San Francisco it wasn't so bad. It was mid afternoon and the hot sun was blazing through the window onto both of our legs. Will's skin is quite sensitive from the chemo and he felt the heat immediately. We searched for something to cover his legs and he ended up pulling out a few pages of his original lab work that was left in the car from a month ago. He held the papers on top of his legs and fell asleep. At one point in the drive I looked over at him as he drifted in an out of sleep.
His balding head and sparse beard make him look completely different than he did a month ago. My eyes moved to his hands as they held the labs to his skin to protect his knees from burning. I found it funny that the very lab report that had started this whole journey was now being used as a sun shield. In that moment I felt we had come full circle.
The closer we got to Willows, the faster I wanted to drive, like a horse nearing his pasture.
When I was a kid we would spend our summers at a family ranch in Wyoming. Part of our adventure there was learning to ride horses. We would take long rides through the mountains and return home with a long loop around the lake. One year, we were finishing our lap around the lake when my horse spotted the gate to his pasture up ahead and broke into a wild gallop. I held on for dear life, not sure what to do. I remember watching the lake bounce up and down as I jostled in the saddle. I was sure I was going to be bucked off into the water and drown. My uncle chased after us and calmed my horse. He then explained to me that horses always want to run when they see their home and it was my job as the rider to keep them in check.
I have never forgotten that. Yesterday I understood how that horse must have felt when he saw his home. I too wanted to break into a wild gallop as we neared ours.
We got home about 6:30PM just as my sister in law was pulling away. She and Will's Mom had been at the house for hours cleaning it up for us. We are so lucky to have them! She opened the door for us and we entered the kitchen. I just stood there for a minute. Everything looked different.
"The counters are so....white!" I finally said as I struggled to put my finger on what was different.
Tammy laughed and took me on a tour of everything they had cleaned. I am embarrassed to say that my house has never been so clean! It was like coming home to a show house. They had vacuumed every nook and cranny in the house and even moved our couches around. That was a fun surprise to come home to. It's silly, but something about having a new living room set up lends its energy to our new start.
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| Best Friends Reunited |
We weren't even gone that long. Both Will and I have worked at camps in the past where we are used to being gone for 4-5 months on end, so coming home after a long absence isn't new to either of us. That's why it was so interesting to me that it felt so weird to be home. So much is different.
Neither Will nor I could wait to see Kona, our dog, but she needed a bath first. Will's Dad came over to be with Will and we went to wash the dogs. I was so happy to see my dog! She didn't say anything to me at first, just ran right by me and out to the yard like she always does. She then realized it was me and returned to jump on me and give me kisses. It was so validating. I then returned the love by giving her a bath...which she hated!
With Kona cleaned up, we got Round Table Pizza and went back to our house to celebrate. Kona was so happy to see Willie and gave him big hugs and kisses. We enjoyed pizza and laughs with the family then lounged around on our own couches in our own house without a single ninja or Sasquatch nurse around to interrupt us.
The night was brought to a perfect close when the Giants made history when the pitcher pitched a perfect game. We would like to believe the Giants did that for Will to celebrate our hospital release.
It was the best night ever!
We didn't get in bed until midnight, but when we did, we both agreed it was the best feeling ever. We love our sleep number bed and it has never felt better than in did last night. We talked about the day and marveled about how it started one way and took a crazy turn in another direction. We were happy with the direction it took though.
Oh so happy!
If yesterday was the happiest day ever, then today was a close second. We slept in then dilly dalled around the house all day. It's funny because we're not doing much different than what we were doing in the hospital room, but the location makes everything better. Will had some friends come to visit and I tried to weed through a month's worth of mail and bills.
So what's next?
Now we carry on with life. In a lot of ways it feels like we are waking up from a month long coma. I wondered today if I am capable of carrying on normal conversation without talk of lab work or cell counts. I wonder if even know how to talk about every day things anymore. What are everyday things anyway?
There is still a very long road ahead of us. We have several follow up appointments next week and Willie still needs another round of chemo. There is talk of a bone marrow transplant and only time will tell if that is necessary, but we have nothing but hope for a bright future.
We are overwhelmed with gratitude for the love, support and prayers we have received from each of you. We have received countless blessings along this journey and consider his rapid healing to be a miracle. We will continue to pray for a miracle and hold out faith that we can receive it!
Tomorrow is the free ice cream day down at our store, the Health Habit from 2 to 8PM. For all of you that live local, please come down and get yourself a free scoop of ice cream! Our family and friends have done so much to arrange this for us and we will also have "Strength For Willie" tee shirts and wrist bands for sale.
We are so blessed to have all of you in our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I will continue to blog as our journey continues. It helps me process things to write them out and you all have been so kind to read my ramblings and follow along with us.
Keep on reading!
I always have something to say!
Welcome home :-)
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