Tender Mercies

I think the biggest questions that come to mind when one is diagnosed with cancer is "how did this happen?"  "What wrong step did I take that led to this?"  "What could I have done differently to prevent this?" If these question could be answered then there would already be a cure for cancer.  The doctors we have asked these questions to are very candid in admitting that they simply don't know what causes it.  In Will's type of Leukemia they have noticed trends in the lifestyles of people who contract it.  They say that it is possibly caused by pesticide and chemical exposure.  Age is a factor and most people with his type of leukemia are over 60 years old. 
They asked a lot of questions about Will's working history and any possibility of chemical exposure.  We live in a community that is surrounded by rice fields and he has worked some brief stints of time in the fields.  He is a plumber and is exposed to all sorts of crazy things, but not a whole lot of chemicals.  We reported this to the doctors and everything was written into his rapidly growing file, but nothing was pointed out as a probable cause.
"I wish I could go back in time and do things over," Will said, the first night after he was diagnosed "I would do things differently."
I assured him that there was no guarantee that even if he did things over that the results wouldn't be the same.  There's just no way to plan for these things.
I am somewhat of a freak when it comes to avoiding chemical and pesticide exposure.  A few years ago  I got pretty sick with what I thought was the flu that I couldn't seem to kick for weeks on end.  My doctor discovered I had pesticide poisoning that was most likely from produce consumption.  Since then I have been extremely careful about the source of our produce and products that enter our home.  I use no chemical cleaning products or purchase anything with possible pesticide exposure or added chemical crap ingredients.
Chemical additives of any variety a hot topic with me.  I get a bit heated and step onto my soap box when the subject comes up.  Just today I needed to buy some shampoo and the only thing they sold in the tiny gift shop was a bottle of blue colored shampoo.  BLUE SHAMPOO!  This is exactly the type of thing that gets me on that soap box.  What is so wrong with our society that makes us think that we NEED blue shampoo or that we think blue shampoo is OK.  That shampoo is blue from a chemically added color that does nothing to enhance or improve the product in any way.  All it does is present a chemical load that our skin must detox.  The skin is the bodies largest organ and we are constantly attacking it with with silly chemical exposures like this.  It would be one thing if the only exposure we had in a day was the blue shampoo we use in the morning, but this sadly is just the start to a series of bad chemical decisions that follow.
After our chemically colored shampooing we will probably put heavy metals under our armpits to prevent sweating then lather our bodies with hydrating lotion products that contains chemicals toxic to many body systems.  Most of us are short on time so we will then eat a quick breakfast of cold cereal or grab a "healthy" breakfast bar that are both so chemically processed that they shouldn't even be allowed to be called a food.  So many chemicals and we haven't even left the house yet!
I'm not putting myself or my household on a pedestal here.  We are just as guilty as any other family of being tempted by the "convenience" products of life.  I do, however, believe that when you know better, you do better and it aggravates me that most of us simply don't know what we are exposed to each day.  It is just silly to me that we are so accustomed to these types of products that the idea of using a shampoo that isn't colored seems wrong!
End of soap box rant.
We have been working on having a chemical free household for that past two years.  My goal has been to learn how to home-make a commercial product each month and replace the chemically laden version in our home.  About a year ago I started making our own laundry detergent.  It is incredibly easy to make and costs pennies per load, so not only are you saving on the chemicals, but the pocket book is happy too!  I was so happy with my discovery that when I went home to visit my family in January of this year, I carted several quart jars of the soap along in the car to give to as gifts.  I distributed all but one jar that was intended for my best friend.  A few weeks after I returned home I asked her what she thought of the homemade laundry soap.
"What soap?" she asked in complete confusion.
"The laundry soap I made!" I said, still proud of myself for making it. (Which I am considering my greatest life achievement thus far!)
She said I never gave it to her and after some convincing I realized I had left it on the floor of our car.
Fast forward to last week.
While my Mom was visiting she was nice enough to wash our clothes with a regular laundry soap.  It was the first time in a year that we have used regular soap and the scent made me sneeze. When I put on one of the shirts my skin itched and I got a rash from the detergent.  This was no good at all!  Today we ran out of clean clothes and I knew I would need to buy some detergent at the laundromat.  The idea of washing another batch of clothes in the itchy soap was not exciting to me and I racked my brain to think of alternatives.  Suddenly, the conversation with my best friend came to my mind.  Had I ever removed the laundry soap I had placed in the car that was intended for her?  I couldn't remember so I hurried to the car to find out.

The miracle soap!

There was nothing on the back seat floor, but when I reached far under the passenger seat I found the jar of laundry detergent I had deposited there 5 months before.
It was a miracle!
Another word for this type of miracle is a "tender mercy."  Tender mercies are blessings that are so perfectly timed that there is no confusing tbat the gift comes from a higher source.  We have had so many of these tender mercies on our journey that it is impossible to deny that we are walking this road alone.
I know laundry detergent is a silly blessing, but it meant the world to me today.  I washed all of our clothes and loaded them into the car with no sneezing or itching whatsoever!  When I got back to the hospital Willie and I went for a walk.  He is feeling good today and no longer has to be hooked to his IV pole all day long so we celebrated by taking a long walk.
We walked around campus and found some awesome restaurants and cafeterias.  Willie is still boycotting the hospital kitchen for their lack of quality service so we were excited to find a really nice, reasonably priced restaurant about a 5 minute walk away.  We already have a lunch date planned for tomorrow.

Dad duck chasing away female duck

We walked by the fountain and watched the baby ducks for a while.  There is a family of mallard ducks that had 8 babies hatch about a week ago.  We stumbled across them last week on day they had hatched.  They were swimming around like naturals so I never would have guessed they were brand new until the hospital staff discovered them and said that they hadn't been there the previous day.  There is a mom and dad duck and they take careful care of their 8 fuzzy babies.  The fountain also contains another lonely couple who have no fuzzy babies.  Today we were entertained by the exchange between the baby-less female duck and the new daddy duck. 
The baby-less female duck would swim over near the new mama and admire the babies.  The new dad would get upset and chase her out of the water.  The baby-less dad duck would then get involved and chase the dad duck away from his woman and soon all the ducks were quacking and telling each other what was what.  At one point the dad duck took the other male duck by the tail and shooed him out of the water then his woman told the whole hospital what she thought of that!
It was entertaining.  We had a good laugh.
We heard today that the "strength for willie" wristbands have sold out and they will be ordering more soon.  The tee shirts will be at the Health Habit tomorrow and the design on the shirt is amazing. (Thank you to Kyle B. for designing and Kyle C. for printing the shirts!  Together, the Kyles are unstoppable!)
We are so blessed to have amazing friends and caring community members who have united to help us fight this fight.  Thank you all for your support in word, deed and monetarily.  We will never be able to adequately express the gratitude we feel for each of you. 
We hope you all have a wonderful night!  ("Even though the Giants lost in the bottom of the 9th!" says Willie.)